Wednesday, March 14, 2007
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PARENTS SUCK--- MONEY SUCKS EVEN MORE
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I haf no FUCKING idea why such BULLSHIT is happening to me. I have been FUCKING tolerating this bullcrap for 6 years. SIX FUCKING YEARS. Everytime the school asks for money, be it for this course, assessment books and such, i'll tell my dad abt it.. what happens? i get a Fucking attitude from him "Everytime ask for money, u tink i print money is it?" "Everytime the school want, trying to lie is it, taking money to buy game is it? " "everytime take money cannot use ur own money pay is it?" FINE i use my own money to try and pay. And i haf done that for 6 fucking years. DOING MY BEST TO PAY. I scrimp and save, skipped break meals for the whole of sec 2 or 3 which i can't remember, SO THAT I CAN PAY AND HAF ABIT OF SAVING OF MY OWN. What happens? When i occasionally ask for money becos i can't pay... "Where is ur savings? spent all on games and cds rite?" wtf? nvm i tolerate.. i kept this shit to myself.
And so i finished my secondary skool life wif an o lvl cert which i believe i've done well for. I bought WoW to reward myself. I believe i deserve this. What happens? i get the load of shit from my parents saying i should be earning money and that games r for ppl who retired. FINE... i went to get a job.. i suck at the job and my parents object to the job becos of some unknown reason. Fine, i try to find another job... WHEN I FOUND ONE MY DAD SAID "Why work now? how much can u earn? skool is gonna start soon (pls its like 4 more weeks?)..Besides i could haf bring u to my company to work during the holidays" wtf? u ask me to find a job and u're now telling this bullshit ? if u could get me into ur company Y NOT!? FFS... NVM that... i declined the job and apologised to the boss... and i slacked till skool reopened. Oh did i forget to mention he agreed on giving me a raise in my allowance when i go to a JC? GUESS WAT HE PRETENDED THAT HE FORGOT... NVM.. i took into consideration of his plight of not earning enough... so.. i stayed on wif $5 allowance per skool day which includes paying of random books and crappy $10 class fund and whatever crap the skool can tink of to leech money off me. I HAF NO FUCKING IDEA HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA SAVE MONEY FROM THAT. I was still able to scrimp on meals during break time and try to skip lunch or something...
However... JC2 sucked balls totally. I practically have to eat my lunch outside all the time due to skool hours and studies and stuff.. That means more tax to my $5 shit. Then there was a chain of money demands from the skool.. which sucked totally. For some FUCKING reason, MOE REFUSES TO LET ME USE EDUSAVE FOR THAT BLOODY TIMES MAG THE SKOOL MADE ME BUY. $97.20- PROM night was $80+ H2 Maths book is $18.90. $10 for ezlink card. (YES i don't pay for my ezlink card or else i'd rather walk to skool). THAT WAS GAY. I had a hard time plucking up my courage to ask my dad this amount. Thankfully my grandma gave me $400 randomly which my dad took this chance to tell me to use the money to pay for the prom and mag. WOW $400 turns to $200... fine.. although i felt cheated as its unfair since that $400 wasn't supposed to be meant for skool shit. I thought i should pay it since i've agreed and it might work some load off my dad. I even tried to delay the shit abt paying for the maths book. I PAID THE 8.90 TOO. And i only ask for $10. WOW guess what? HE BROKE MY LAST FUCKING STRAW. He said : "Ur too overboard, keep asking for money pay and pay must haf spent it on games.. no money take steal from my drawer only." i was like wtf. i said "don't believe ask the damn skool, its not like i want the book." and as a dad all he could do is to reinforce his fucking stubborn stand wif words that insulted me. i told him i've been subsidsing all the cost b4 i even ask him for money and i've been doing so for a damn long time already. $6 (yes i tried to get an increase and i've only got a dollar increase =/ ) is not gonna last me thru all the notes and books i'm told to buy becos the skool likes it. i don't even haf the money to last 2 meals. "STARVE TO DEATH THEN" That was what he said. WTF I WAS TOLD BY MY DAD TO STARVE TO DEATH. SERIOUSLY I SWEAR THAT WAS THE WORST I'VE FELT IN MY WHOLE FUCKING PATHETIC LIFE.
That was only the dispute over shit money.
From secondary till now i've always got nagged by my dad saying i've played too much becos i've been playing since i came home till 12am all the time. BUT I ASSURE U ALL, All he ever did was assume. USING all the generalisation he can infer. i admit sometimes i overplay, yes i know thats wrong to do... BUT I DID CHANGE. I Know when to stop playing. ESPECIALLY DURING THE 'O' lvls, promos and such. all he ever do was assume i played the whole day just becos he saw me playing when he came home. EVEN when i reach home 5min b4 him and just happened to load my game 1 min b4 he came home. NVM i can tolerate those... i remembered the period a few months b4 o lvls. i stayed in skool till 6pm to study b4 returning home and i still got scolded for playing the min i reach home... fine i tolerated.. i studied till 10pm when it drew near to O lvls... nothing was said by my parents.... absolutely nothing. SERIOUSLY i've nvr got complimented by my dad ever for doing well or improving. All he did was keep quiet. BUT WHEN I'M NOT, I GET RANTED .... wtf man ... nvm i tot thats maybe his charactor... i got used to it. The reason i played WoW after promos was becos i tot i did well in it since i got A for maths and close to A for computing. I had nvr expected such a score so i played my 1month thru. Its bad enough that my bad said nothing abt it BUT he kept complaining the whole time that i'm playing a game that needs to pay... wtf? u don't reward me for doing well... Fine i'll reward myself so y the fuck r u complaining?
Besides that, he thinks i should study and do my homework b4 i play.. but i'm not dumb. IF I WERE TO STUDY AND DO MY HOMEWORK HE'd fuck me up by saying y am i playing at such a late hour, isn't there skool tml? don't u haf to wake up by 6? god.. Thats the reason y i like to finish my homework in skool and play b4 i study. Even when i AM doing my homework up to late night.. HE ASSUMED I PLAYED B4 I STARTED DOING AND THINKS I'M LYING.. wtf? ffs... My last straw was already half broken when he called me a 'bai jia zhi' --a disgrace to the family.. when i was struggling to do my HISTORY ESSAY. WTH he FUCKING CALLED ME THAT even when i've been doing it without touching my game at all! That fucked me up.
Calling me a disgrace to the family and tells me to starve to death.... NO WAY CAN I TOLERATE SUCH BULLSHIT. Seriously.. i spilled all the vulgarities i could think off at that time i was told to starve to death. i treat him as invisible since. i can see that he is pissed for me not greeting him and such. My mum even persuaded me to greet him as he is indeed still my dad. i was FUCKING RELUCTANT. i tried.. he didn't even reply back... wtf.. and now 2 hours b4 i typed this.. he fucking says that he didn't even mention a word abt my attitude and says y should he give a damn when i don't show him respect at all? WOW WTF. FOR MY WHOLE LIFE I GREETED HIM WHENEVER HE WOKE UP, WHEN EVER I CAME BACK HOME, THANKED HIM WHENEVER HE BOUGHT ME STUFF. AND HE DARES TELL ME I DON'T GIVE HIM ANY RESPECT? WTF I SHOULD BE TELLING HIM THAT.
SERIOUSLY.. LIKE MY FRIEND SAID B4 IN SEC SKOOL. "IF UR DAD CAN'T AFFORD TO FEED HIS KIDS, Y GIVE BIRTH TO SO MANY?" I TOT THAT WAS IN-HUMANE AT FIRST BUT SERIOUSLY.... I TAKE MY WORDS BACK NOW. IF MY DAD IS SO IN NEED OF MONEY I CAN JUST JUMP OFF THE BUILDING OR GET KNOCKED BY A CAR AND HE'D GET THOUSANDS OF DOLLAR IN AN INSTANT. SERIOUSLY.
i really tried my best to survive in this fucked up situations.
Secondary skool --
loan-ed cash from tons of ppl... although $1 -$2 at a time... accumulated to hundreds of dollars.. i'm sure xing wei, kenneth, and especially eugene knows that very well.. i've yet to pay em >.<
Junior College --
want to stop borrowing cash from ppl and start life anew.... ended up still owing Boon Chin for all the history notes he bought.
If u tink i shouldn't get cash from my dad for chalet and class outing and whatever that is recreational and not related to skool... HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA COME UP WIF THE MONEY? and if u're going to tell me "why go if u don't haf the money? " SImple.. my family is screwed.. the only time i'm happy is when i'm wif my friends.. if u're gonna deprive me of that i might as well hang myself. Now i know y ppl love to stay late from home... becos home sucks it doesn't gives u the happiness and enjoyment... the laughter and warmth u get when u're wif ur friends. If you're gonna tell me to not go for prom night.... fuck off man.. u know HOW CLUELESS I WAS WHEN PPL ASK ME IF U'VE BEEN TO MALAYSIA? IF U'VE BEEN TO SENTOSA? IF U HAF BEEN TO SCIENCE CENTRE? FUCK MAN. My dad has been depriving me of such excursion in primary skool sux.... u lose out to ppl in terms of experience... and seriously i'm not gonna miss tings that happens only once in ur life.. especially when my sec skool didn't haf prom night.
Thats it.. that was the last straw... theres a limit to everything... my ego, my pride, my self esteen, my tolerance... u haf gone far too much than i can handle... REFLECT ON WHAT U HAVE DONE... or do u wish me to walk out of this house and jump down the ledge. I can also get myself rammed by a car.. whichever suits u best... no wait maybe i should just jump down in case i dmg the car and u need to pay for it.
||Konota|| popped by at [1:10 AM]*